The Dos and Don'ts of Writing the Perfect First Message ​

So, you’ve found someone you’re interested in on a dating app or website. Now, it’s time to send that all-important first message. The first message can make or break your chances of getting a response, so it’s important to get it right. To help you out, we’ve put together a list of dos and don’ts for writing the perfect first message.

The Dos:

1. Personalize Your Message

Avoid sending generic messages like “Hey, what’s up?” or “How’s your day going?” Instead, take the time to read the person’s profile and craft a message that’s personalized to them. Mention something you have in common or ask them a question about something they’ve shared in their profile.

2. Keep It Short and Sweet

Long, rambling messages can be overwhelming and turn people off. Keep your first message short and to the point. Introduce yourself, mention something you have in common, and ask a question to keep the conversation going.

3. Show Your Personality

Your first message is a chance to showcase your personality and stand out from the crowd. Don’t be afraid to be a little silly or share a joke if it feels natural to you. Just make sure it’s appropriate and not offensive.

4. Use Proper Grammar and Spelling

While it may seem insignificant, using proper grammar and spelling can make a big difference in how your message is received. Take the time to proofread your message before sending it to make sure it’s error-free.

Perfect First Message

The Don’ts:

1. Don’t Be Overly Sexual or Aggressive

Sending overly sexual or aggressive messages is a surefire way to turn someone off. Avoid commenting on someone’s physical appearance or making inappropriate jokes. Keep it respectful and focus on getting to know the person.

2. Don’t Be Rude or Offensive

Being rude or offensive in your first message is a guaranteed way to get ignored or blocked. Avoid making negative comments or using offensive language, even if you’re trying to be funny.

3. Don’t Send Copy-and-Paste Messages

Sending the same message to multiple people may seem like a time-saver, but it’s not an effective way to get responses. People can tell when a message is generic and not personalized to them. Take the time to craft a unique message for each person you’re interested in.

4. Don’t Overthink It

While it’s important to put effort into your first message, don’t overthink it to the point of paralysis. Remember, the goal is to start a conversation and get to know the person better. Just be yourself and have fun with it.

Writing the perfect first message can be nerve-wracking, but by following these dos and don’ts, you can increase your chances of getting a response. Personalize your message, keep it short and sweet, show your personality, and use proper grammar and spelling. 

And, above all, be respectful and focus on getting to know the person. With some effort and a positive attitude, you can make an excellent first impression and start building meaningful connections.

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